Andrea's Menarche Ritual
by Lilith Runesdatter
Having raised my daughter in the Wiccan faith since she was pre-school aged, I wanted to do something really special when she reached menarche. That happened a lot earlier than I was expecting, as the typical age in my family is 13 or 14, and her first period arrived when she wasn't even 12 yet. I definitely didn't have a ceremony ready at the time! Andrea had gone to be fostered briefly with my cousin Lyse (who is also my best female friend) for 6 months just after she turned 12; it was a great opportunity for Andrea, and a great experience. I knew I wanted to include Lyse in whatever ceremony that I held for Andrea, as Andrea's godmother; Lyse is also Wiccan and we have worked well in ritual together before.
In designing a ceremony for Andrea, I searched through my collection of books on Wicca & Paganism, asked some Wiccan friends for ideas, and tried a lot of different key words in searching Internet search engines. It astonished me how difficult it was to find a ceremony that wasn't a large group affair, or that focused on "the maturing of a girl into a woman" as opposed to "a mini-dedication to Wicca" (which was not what we wanted in the ceremony). And for some reason, I wanted the ceremony to include a bridge, for her symbolic crossing from childhood to young womanhood. Finally, I found several bits of ritual that I liked, some secular poetry that spoke to me, and tossed in some of my own ideas. We held the ceremony on May 5, 2001 (the Beltane after Andrea turned 12), at Multnomah Falls, a National Scenic area about 45 minutes east of Portland, OR.
We arrived at the Falls, and started the hike up the trails to the head of the main falls. Just before we started, I gave Andrea an admonition--that the reason we were going to hike up the (fairly) steep trail to see the falls was because womanhood, like the hike, has its difficulties and trials, but the rewards are worth it. (I didn't realize at the time that this was going to be about an 8-mile round trip hike!) About halfway up, we paused to catch our breath, and present Andrea with her first gift, a Book of Shadows that I had begun for her with a few of my favorite pages from my own BOS. I read to her the dedication page:
A mother tries to provide her daughter with insight into the important things in life in order to make her life as happy and fulfilling as possible...
A mother tries to teach her daughter to be good, helpful to other people, to be fair, always treating others equally, to have a positive attitude, to always make things right when they are wrong, to know herself well, to know what her talents are, to set goals for herself, to not be afraid of working too hard, to reach her goals...
A mother tries to teach her daughter to have many interests to pursue, to laugh and have fun every day, to appreciate the beauty of nature, to enter into friendships with good people, to honor their friendships and always be a true friend, to appreciate the importance of the family, and to particularly respect and love our elder members, to use her intelligence at all times, to listen to her emotions, to adhere to her values...
A mother tries to teach her daughter to not be afraid to stick to her beliefs, to not follow the majority when the majority is wrong, to carefully plan a life for herself, to vigorously follow her chosen path, to enter relationships with those who are worthy of herself, to love unconditionally with her body, heart, and mind, to share all that she has learned in life with her loved ones...
If I have provided you with an insight into most of these things, then I have succeeded as a mother in what I hoped to accomplish in raising you.
If many of thse things slipped by while we were all so busy, I have a feeling that you know them anyway.
One thing I am sure of, though...
I have taught you to be proud of the fact that you are a woman equal to all men, and I have loved you every second of your life.
I will always continue to cherish and love you, my beautiful daughter.
Then we hiked a bit further up, and found a small natural cave in the rock alongside the trail. The whole cave was just a few feet deep and wide, with the opening slightly narrower than the interior, and the roof was about 8 feet up, so it was perfect for a person to stand within. Lyse & I both stepped within the opening, and enjoyed the sublimely nice energy. Then we had Andrea stand within, feeling the solidity & beauty of the Earth around her, and I read the blessing to new womanhood:
Be free, be strong, be yourself, be lucky, be proud to be a woman, be loved and loving. May your body always be a blessing to you, a temple of love and pleasure. May your womb bear fruit at your desire. May you always remember that your power to create is of the body, but not bound by the body. May you bear many different kinds of fruit.
Honor your blood that waxes and wanes with the moon, for it is the living presence of the Goddess. May your blood flow gently, without pain, reminding you that within you lies the circle of birth, growth, death and rebirth.
Yours is the power to open or close the gates of life, and yours is the responsibility to be a conscientious guardian. Open to the embrace of love when you choose, and when you do not choose, may you be inviolable. Care for your body as you would a sacred grove, and care for those you love. May your life be rich with many forms of love: passion, affection, devotion, compassion, humor and playfulness, wild adventures, and a safe hearth to come home to. May you find lovers, partners, friends, and companions, those who will nurture you and those whom you will nurture. Know that you are unique and precious, that no one else can take your place. Blessed be...
A little further up the hiking trail, we stopped to look out at all the greenery, and I read the Celebration of the Goddess, which I found on a poster years before I decided to become Wiccan, which always struck a chord in me:
We give birth to ideas, to relationships, to works of art, to hope, to peace, to children, and to each other.
Allow the rhythms of Nature to whisper to you. Feel the waxing and the waning of the moon, the changing of the leaves, the brewing of a storm, the flame of love. Accept the emotions these rhythms bring and dance with them.
Teach me the wisdom of laughter and the blessing of tears. Teach me to love without expectation and to trust my intuition. Teach me to feed my soul.
Almost to the head of the falls, there is a small stone foot bridge about 8 feet wide, with no railings since it's only a few feet above the shallow creek that it crosses. We stopped for a few moments to look at the creek, the trees surrounding it, the amazing beauty of it all. Then Lyse and I directed Andrea to wait on one side of the bridge, and told her we would meet her on the other side, for mothers & aunts can help a young lady enter into womanhood, but the journey is her own. Lyse and I crossed the bridge and turned to watch Andrea walk across into young womanhood. On the other side, we hugged her and welcomed her to the company of women. Then I gave her the necklace I had chosen for this day, a Celtic crosswork pendant that represented the design of the Four Quarters.
We all followed the creek a little ways, until we found some large, flat rocks next to the water to sit on, out of the sight of the main trails (and other people). Lyse read the long version of the Wiccan Rede to Andrea:
Bide the Witches' Law ye must,
In perfect Love and perfect Trust.
Live and let live,
Fairly take and fairly give.
Form the Circle thrice about
To keep all evil spirits out.
To bind ye spell every time,
Let the spell be spake in rhyme.
Soft of eye and light of touch,
Speak ye little, listen much.
Honor the Elders in deed and name,
Let love and light be our guides again.
Deosil go by waxing moon,
Sing and dance ye Wiccan rune.
Widdershins go by the waning moon,
Chanting out ye baneful rune.
When the Lady's moon is new,
Kiss ye hand to Her times two.
When ye moon rides at Her peak
Then ye heart's desire seek.
Heed the North winds' mighty gale,
Lock the door and trim the sail.
When the Wind blows from the East,
Expect the new and set the feast.
When the wind comes from the South,
Love will kiss thee on the mouth.
When the wind blows from the West,
Departed souls may have no rest.
Nine woods in ye Cauldron go,
Burn them quick and burn them slow.
Birch in ye sacred fire goes
To represent what the Lady knows.
Oak in the forest towers with might
In the fire it brings the God's insight.
Rowan is a tree of power
Causing life and magick to flower.
Willows at the waterside stand
Ready to help thee to the Summerland.
Hawthorn is burned to purify
And to draw faerie to thine eye.
Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning-
Adds its strength to the bright fire burning.
White are the flowers of Apple tree
That brings ye fruits of fertility.
Grapes grow upon the vine
Giving ye both joy and wine.
Fir does mark the evergreen
To represent immortality seen.
Elder is the Lady's tree
Burn it not or cursed ye'll be.
Four times the Major Sabbats mark
Two in light and two in dark.
As the old year turns to wane
The new begins at Samhain.
When the time for Imbolc shows
Watch for flowers through the snows.
When the wheel begins to turn
Soon ye Beltane fires burn
As the wheel turns to Lammas night
Power is brought to magick rite.
Four times the Minor Sabbats fall
Use the Sun to mark them all.
When the wheel hath turned at Yule
Light the log the Horned One rules.
In the spring, when night equals day
Time for Ostara to come our way.
When the Sun has reached its height
Then will Oak and Holly fight.
Harvesting comes to one and all
When the Autumn Equinox does fall.
Heed ye flower, bush, and tree
By the Lady blessed be.
Where the rippling waters go
Cast a stone and truth ye'll know.
When ye have and hold a need,
Harken not to others' greed.
With a fool no season spend
Nor be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part
Bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Mind the Three-fold Law ye should
Three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow
Wear the star upon thy brow.
True in love ye must ever be
Lest thy love be false to thee.
Eight words the Rede fulfill
"An ye harm none, do what ye will".
Lyse gave Andrea her gift, the Goddess Tarot card and book set. Then we continued hiking up to the head of the falls, where there is a lovely overhang built so you can see the falls from above, and look down to where you started the hike. After enjoying the lovely scenery, taking in the gorgeous sight and sound of the falls, we hiked back down to the Multnomah Falls Lodge for dinner. It was a very classy dining establishment, and we were all worn out & sweaty, but one of the things every lady knows is that you fit in wherever you choose to, and nothing can beat a woman's ability to be cool & composed whenever she must! We had an absolutely fabulous dinner, terrific conversation in terrific company. We also had a chuckle when the waiter saw Andrea's gifts and asked, "Special occasion?" And we just giggled.
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